It might never happen!

I’m sure most of us have experienced somebody either rude, insensitive or simply lacking in social awareness who has said to us: “Smile, it might never happen...” I know I have. In fact, someone said it to me the other day.  It got me thinking...

...Not long before, I had had a text message from a client saying “call me” and I’d panicked that I’d done something awful and had really upset him or that something awful had happened to him. In reality, he was just trying to text one-handed and didn’t have time for small talk in his text message! No panic had been required at all and yet here I’d been sending myself grey-haired over nothing!

We’ve all been there I’m sure—something like that happens, and before we’ve even had time to think, we’ve jumped to the worst possible conclusion. This tendency to assume the worst, known as "catastrophising," is a common cognitive habit that can create unnecessary stress and anxiety in our lives. But the good news is that we can train our minds to break this cycle and adopt a more balanced approach.

Jumping to conclusions is often rooted in our brain’s natural fight-or-flight response. When faced with uncertainty, our minds instinctively want to prepare us for the worst-case scenario. While this can be helpful in genuinely dangerous situations, it becomes problematic when applied to everyday challenges. Our thoughts spiral, and we create negative stories in our minds that may have no basis in reality. This not only causes unnecessary worry but can also damage relationships, hinder our productivity, and affect our mental health.

So, how can we stop ourselves from assuming the worst? The first step is awareness. Recognising when you’re jumping to conclusions is crucial. Pay attention to your thoughts and ask yourself whether you have actual evidence to support the conclusion you’re reaching. For example, if a friend hasn’t replied to a message, consider the other possible explanations: they might be busy, their phone could be on silent, or they might be waiting for a moment to respond thoughtfully. Taking a step back to evaluate the situation from a neutral perspective can help you avoid falling into the trap of negative assumptions.

Another effective strategy is challenging your thoughts. When you find yourself catastrophising, ask yourself questions like: “What’s the worst that could happen? Is it really that bad?” and “What are the chances that this worst-case scenario will actually occur?” By questioning the likelihood of your fears becoming reality, you can often defuse the intensity of your assumptions and gain a more grounded perspective.

Practising mindfulness is another valuable tool. Mindfulness teaches us to stay present and not get swept away by our thoughts. When you find yourself jumping to conclusions, take a deep breath and bring your attention back to the present moment. Focus on what you know to be true rather than letting your mind wander into the realm of "what ifs." Grounding exercises like focusing on your breathing or engaging in a quick meditation can also help break the cycle of negative thinking.

Finally, it’s important to develop self-compassion. Often, our worst assumptions come from a place of self-doubt or fear of failure. Remind yourself that making mistakes is a natural part of life, and not every situation is a reflection of your self-worth. Treat yourself with kindness and patience, and try to extend the same understanding to others.  Anxiety UK has some helpful advice.

By becoming more mindful of our thought patterns and gently challenging our assumptions, we can break the habit of jumping to conclusions. In doing so, we reduce unnecessary stress and cultivate a more balanced, peaceful state of mind.‍